Why Women Are Running From Mentoring

Mentoring – it’s one of the biggest buzzwords in Women’s Ministry right now.

Leaders are starting up new mentoring ministries in churches across the country.

They see mentoring meeting a huge need women have.

It all looks great from the outside, but the problem is women aren’t embracing the idea of mentoring.

In order to get women to embrace mentoring, we need to look at why they are running.

Why don’t want to serve as mentors:

1. Women are intimidated. They feel like they aren’t cut out to be mentors. They aren’t Godly enough, spiritual enough, prayerful enough, fill-in-the-blank enough.

2. Women feel like they don’t have time. Their schedules are already overloaded and the idea of meeting weekly (or even regularly) with another woman is just not doable or appealing. Given a choice, there are other ways they’d rather spend their time.

3. Women lack the training needed. Churches aren’t providing adequate mentor training on an ongoing basis.

4. Women are afraid of being discovered. Many women have deep dark secrets they want to keep hidden. Maybe it’s an abortion, an affair, not knowing how to pray, etc. If they get involved with a mentor they’ll find out!

Women aren't embracing the idea of mentoring.

5. Programs are too structured. There’s a lack of authenticity. Relationships feel programmed and forced. Women long for things that feel real and develop organically.

6. Mentors assume they must provide Biblical counsel and do not feel equipped to do so. We need to remind our mentors that they are not counselors. Mentors need resource lists of qualified counselors and recommended agencies (abuse shelters, pregnancy centers, etc.).

7. Women don’t fully understand what mentoring is. There is an assumption and a lack of information. We must communicate clearly and repeatedly what mentoring in our church is, how it works, and how women can get involved.

Your turn to share: How are the women in your church responding to mentoring?

You may also want to read:
Mentoring Programs and Resources
How to Minister to Angry Women
A Fresh (and much needed) Approach to Mentoring
Watch Out for These Mentoring Pitfalls!
Changing False Assumptions Women Make About Mentoring