Why Women Are Running From Mentoring

Mentoring – it’s one of the biggest buzz words in Women’s Ministry right now.

Leaders are starting up new mentoring ministries in churches across the country.

They see mentoring meeting a huge need women have.

Why Women Are Running From Mentoring

It all looks great from the outside, but the problem is women aren’t embracing the idea of mentoring.

In order to get women to embrace mentoring, we need to look at why they are running.

Why women are running from mentoring:

1. Women are intimidated. They feel like they aren’t cut out to be mentors. They aren’t Godly enough, spiritual enough, prayerful enough, fill-in-the-blank enough.

2. Women feel like they don’t have time. Their schedules are already overloaded and the idea of meeting weekly (or even regularly) with another woman is just not doable or appealing. Given a choice, there are other ways they’d rather spend their time.

3. Women lack the training needed. Churches aren’t providing adequate mentor training on an ongoing basis.

4. Women are afraid of being discovered. Many women have deep dark secrets they want to keep hidden. Maybe it’s an abortion, an affair, not knowing how to pray, etc. If they get involved with a mentor they’ll find out!

Women aren't embracing the idea of mentoring.

5. Programs are too structured. There’s a lack of authenticity. Relationships feel programed and forced. Women long for things that feel real and develop organically.

6. Mentors assume they must provide Biblical counsel and do not feel equipped to do so. We need to remind our mentors that they are not counselors. Mentors need resource lists of qualified counselors and recommended agencies (abuse shelters, pregnancy centers, etc.).

7. Women don’t fully understand what mentoring is. There is an assumption and a lack of information. We must communicate clearly and repeatedly what mentoring in our church is, how it works, and how women can get involved.

Your turn to share: How are the women in your church responding to mentoring?


  1. Gina, Thanks for sharing a fresh way to look at mentoring. Your “Encouragement Ministry” does sound a lot less intimidating! I know I’d sign up! Giving and receiving encouragement is both something I want and something I feel confident I could do…unlike “mentoring”. 😉 Praying God will pave the path to spread it throughout your congregation!

  2. This is such an important and needed topic! I have one lady at my church whom is very passionate about this and she has created a framework for what she calls an “encouragement ministry” which sounds less intimidating. She is doing it organically where women are pairing up for about set time – 3 to 6 months. I want to incorporate it church-wide, but I am afraid it will come off as a program. Good insight. Thanks!

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